So You Want To Be A Waiter

The best book on waiting tables that you have never read – yet

The virtue of airbags

So, I’m driving home in-between shifts today and I’m stopped at a light. There’s a forest green Silverado with a camper top on the back in front of me. The light turns green. The Silverado pulls out, gaining speed (our lane is a little recessed from the intersection). Suddenly, I see a puke green Honda Element flying through the intersection. I literally had enough time to process the thought “There’s going to be a crash” when I saw the Silverado hit its brakes and try to swerve. I hit my brakes about the same time because I realized that there was going to be about three and half tons of metal blocking my way in a split second.

The Silverado plowed into the passenger’s side of the Honda, just like you’d see in the movies. The Honda was almost knocked over; that’s how hard the collision was. I pulled around the side and parked my car, my stomach getting a little queasy because I was going to be the first on the scene and, frankly, I wasn’t sure what I was going to see (the Honda was going close to 40 as it came through the light). I was prepared for some blood and guts. I first started up to the Honda and the guy looked up. “Good…he’s not decapitated”. I thought. I kind of gave him a questioning shrug and mouthed “Are you OK” and he gave me a thumbs-up. Cool, because I thought that he would have been fucked up beyond belief.

I then went around to the Silverado and asked the guy through the open window if he was OK. He said he was and I opened the door for him. He had a stinger because he was shaking his arm a little bit. The only thing that the Honda driver had was a skinned-up shin.

The drivers were the exact stereotypes of what you would expect to be driving the vehicles. The Honda driver was a skinny emo-alternative-popper type with wirerims and some cool tennies (was he the lead singer of Weezer?  I don’t think so, but he could have been him when he was 20 years old). The truck driver was a really big trucker-type dude with a walrus moustasche(he probably weighted close to 300 lb). Both were right out of central casting. They hit so hard that four very heavy ammo cases filled with tools and nuts and bolts were left on the street after crashing through the tailgate of the Silverado.

In any case, I lost about 15 minutes of my break, but I stuck around to give a statement. And to also wonder at the amazing ability of air bags to prevent serious injury.

And, after I buckled my seat belt and drove home, you’d better bet I was looking both ways at the stop lights. Even more than I usually do. You see, I drive a Miata.

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2 responses to “The virtue of airbags

  1. Brittany June 24, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    Oh my, I’m glad you weren’t the one getting smushed!

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