So You Want To Be A Waiter

The best book on waiting tables that you have never read – yet

A couple of new milestones

First of all, I finally made it to the front page of a Google blog keyword search! I typed in waiter, and there my last post was, lurking at the bottom of the page like a lamprey stalking a shark.

Second of all, I’ve gone from a Technorati rating of ~1,200,000th most popular blog to just a tick over 520,000th. My only question is – what do those other 500,000 blogs have that I don’t have? Well, they have politics. They have technology reports. They have funny pictures of cats. They have cool cars and booze and naked women. They have hate language (I’m looking at YOU, Debbie Schlussel!).

So, with great joy, I roll out my new blog product, a red, white and blue, KKK-endorsed, Bluetooth-equipped cat casket .

casket

 

 

 

 

 

 

I couldn’t get a Ku Klux Klanner to go on camera to endorse this fine piece of American craftsmanship, so I tapped this Italian-American spic to stand in (I would have chosen a fellow Jew, but the hateful, self-loathing Jew Debbie Schlussel was unavailable as she was busy trashing Walter Cronkite and Ted Kennedy). This casket will hold the fattest, more corpulent cat (or Debbie Schlussel if you remove her head before embalming) that you are likely to see in an internet photo. Like this one:

Fat%20Cat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I apologize for the Bud Light, but at least it was still an American-owned brand at the time, and it was served at the Beer Summit.

The red, white and blue of the casket celebrates our country and its ideals, as does the theme itself – give us your tired, your poor, your beer-deprived masses, and sell it for $4 a sixpack to boot. This beer is appropriate for any White House beer summit for it is part of the largest wholly-owned American brewery in the good ole US of A. No tone-deafness here.

Now your tech-savvy cat can carry his or her technology into the grave without annoying wires.

sox

 

 

 

 

 

 

The casket comes with its own battery-operated 100 year charger (which is why the casket has to be human-sized). The techology was stolen…I mean borrowed from Tesla:

tesla

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Padma Lakshmi is rumored to be considering this car. Here she is trying to bargain down the price of the car:

padma-lakshmi081110

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And finally, I have to throw this in, because, what’s a blog these days without the obligatory lolcats shot?

catwithrubicscube

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This post should shoot me quickly into the low 400,000s in no time!

Oh yeah, I hit 5,000 views a month for the first time this month. I just zipped right past 4,000, as last month, I only had 3,300.

Thanks for all of the support, linkage and interest.

PS, I promise not to cheat and put naked girls in the tags, although just about everything else is going in there <g>.

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