So You Want To Be A Waiter

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End of month, end of year, end of decade

Well, this is my last exhortation about uniforms this decade.

Now’s the time to take a close look at your uniforms from head to toe.

Shoes intact and non-skid? Check.

Pants not frayed at the cuff and in the back? Check.

Pants have oil stain that won’t come out? Put in emergency inventory. Use only when all else fails.

Shirt collars not pilled and stained? Check.

Hell, you know the drill. At the end of every month, you do what you don’t normally do day to day – give a close look to the uniform. Not only do you look with more of a critical eye than when you’re grabbing and going, you get a heads-up about uniform items that you are close to having to replace. It’s really bad when you’re broke and suddenly your shoes rip on the side and you’re forced to spend money that you don’t have. Better to buy new uniform items on your own schedule, not the waiting god’s vengeful wrath. 

No, you don’t have to be THIS put-together, but it’s something worth shooting for, I suppose. Just can the haughty look.

One response to “End of month, end of year, end of decade

  1. Tom Degan December 31, 2009 at 6:17 am

    I can remember exactly where I was when this awful decade came into being. Believe it or not, when I rang in the new year on January 1, 2000, not only was I stone-cold sober – I was at church! My then-girlfriend and I attended a special midnight mass at the local Catholic church to welcome in, not only a new decade, but a new century and a new millennium. I remember feeling filled with optimism. By entering this new era, I felt, we could wipe the slate clean. Maybe this would be a new age of peace, love, brother and sisterhood. EVERYBODY SING!

    This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius!
    Age of Aquarius!

    How utterly naive on my part, huh? By year’s end, all of that hope was out the window and into the toilet. In December of 2000, an ideologically perverted Supreme Court would assist in a stolen election by stopping the vote count in the state of Florida, installing a corrupt little frat boy with the I.Q. of a half-eaten box of Milk Duds as president of the United States. It was all downhill from that moment on. From the birth of “Reality Television” to the worst attack on American soil since the Civil War, it was quite a strange ten years to say the least. Thankfully this awful decade is a mere three days away from being forever consigned to history’s scrap heap. Hallelujah.

    Tom Degan

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