So You Want To Be A Waiter

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Daily Archives: January 13, 2010

New link posted – “How To Be A Better Restaurant Customer”

I love the title of this blog. Positive and a little chiding at the same time, this is a nice variation on the typical “server blog”.

Food servers will enjoy it and restaurant patrons will glean valuable information about how to make their dining experience better.

I implore all of my readers to check it out pronto.

Look for the link in ye ole blogroll…

Wine topic of the day – corks and screwtops

Steve at Waiter Extraordinaire was musing about corks vs. screwtops. Seems his cherry was popped when he got his first “corked” bottle from a screwtop.

Screwtops, a.k.a. Stelvin closures, are said to be the thing that will eliminate most cases of wine spoilage. TCA, or 2,4,6-trichloranisole, a compound that has caused a few California wineries to have to toss out large portions of some of their bottlings and is primarily responsible for the “wet cardboard” smell of corked wine, can be almost eliminated by going to the Stelvin closure.

However, this isn’t entirely true. Obviously, wine can be contaminated at various stages of manufacture. Cork taint isn’t the only problem that can occur in wine. wine can be “maderized”, or basically oxidized in the bottle. You can tell this as an unnatural cloyingly sweet flavor in wines that shouldn’t be that way. It might remind you of port, a flavor that’s great if you’re drinking port, but not if you’re drinking a big cab.

Wine can have an overly sulphuric aroma and flavor. Wines can be “skunky”, which is the result of thiols.

There are many so-called ‘wine taints” not directly associated with corks. Wikipedia has a good article on them that can be useful for every waiter to at least skim:

Here’s an interesting article that briefly covers some of the problems that can occur in the physical plant itself:

Obviously, most of us waiters prefer the cork. It’s part and parcel of the ceremony of wine. It invests wine with an additional value due to the skill that’s required to remove the cork (a skill easily and quickly learned, I might add). There’s history behind the cork, and the cork adds a tactile element as the guest can pick it up, examine it, squeeze it to test it and handle it occasionally through the meal if he or she desires. There’s also a marketing angle on the cork as most are marked with the name of the vintner. It also allows the guest to become part of the QC process if they know a lot about wine because the cork can tell you some things about the wine that you’re getting ready to experience. and there’s just something primal and somewhat sensual about a cork from a red wine that has been aged a bit – the cork itself is starting to be pliant, and there might be a dark burgundy tip with some earthy-looking deposits formed on the end. It brings home the living and evolving nature of the wine, something you just don’t get with a screwtop.

And, let’s face it, there’s already a portion of the dining public, and some “tip advisors” that say that it’s ok not to tip on expensive bottles of wine (which is, of course, total bullshit).  Screwtops give them even more reason to discount tipping on wine. They say, “How hard is it to open a screwtop bottle and pour it”, forgetting of course that you might very well ask, “How hard is it to carry a plate and put it on the table”? Or, “How hard is it to open a beer bottle and pour it”? (I’m going to deal with this whole “tipping on wine” think in a future rant).

Screwtops are bloodless and lack flair. It’s no different opening a bottle of wine than opening a bottle of Perrier. And what do you do with the cap? The guest has been conditioned to take a cork – sometimes there’s a bit of uncomfortableness between guest and waiter. It can be just a touch awkward in these early days of screwtops. I recommend that the waiter simply puts the top on the table in case the guest needs to take some of the bottle home. This of course is awkward from a table busing standpoint. The waiter and the server assistant have to be careful not to bus it. I’m not sure that there is a standard established regarding the handling of the top. This would be my suggestion – bring out a B&B (bread and butter plate) to set the top on. If it’s clear that the whole bottle is going to be poured, simply pocket the cap and remove the B&B. If it’s unclear, then leave it on the B&B until it’s clear that it won’t be used. As always, house policy trumps any advice that I give here.

My opinion about the screwtop? If it means that less wine gets destroyed because of cork taint, I’m all for it. It’s not clear how much advantage a cork makes in aging over a screwtop (research has shown that it’s not much). For the bulk of wines that are served in restaurants, cork will make absolutely no difference because most restaurant wines are served within a handful of years anyway.

What is lost is a little of the ceremony, the mystery, the…shall I say it?…soul of the wine experience. It cheapens it a little, but let’s remember that, in the end, what we’re looking for is the quality of the wine.

If i sound wishy-washy, perhaps I am. I love the opening of the cork. I enjoy it in and of itself and it just feels strange to crack a screwtop. but that’s because it’s a new thing, I suppose. I don’t mind having to take the time to cut the capsule just right, line up my corkscrew just so in order to keep from tearing the cork on the sides (and I’m not always successful), present the cork, etc. Sure it’s time away from doing other things, but as wine is usually a good portion of my sales, it’s time well-spent and time where I get to show a little expertise, although I don’t make a huge production of it.

I hate…

…those little five notes at the end of the “I’m lovin’ it” McDonald’s commercials. That little musical phrase literally drives me up the wall. It sends me into an epileptic fit. I start getting homicidal urges. It makes me want to repeatedly slam my head with a lead pipe. when it pops up in a dream, I wake up drenched with sweat clutching the bedsheets and gnashing my teeth. It’s my Moby Dick.

For those of you who don’t live in North America (and a surprisingly large number of my readers don’t), you might not have experienced this horrible earworm. If McDonald’s has spared you from this horrible little hellish symphony, be very very glad. It’s one proof of the decline of the American culture (yeah yeah, I know that many of you already point to McDonald’s directly for this – let me tell you, this horribly insipid ad campaign that has been going on now for several years, is “urbanism” emasculated. If there is one positive thing that can be said for the musical tagline, it’s that it’s the very musical knife to the male member.

Oh dear, after doing a little research on this, I find out that this campaign originated in Germany, of all places. Mein Gott!  Wasn’t foisting Modern Talking and Sandra on the rest of the world enough revenge for the results of the World Wars?

So, I apologize from the American side to the world for this little jingle and the German part of me wants say Es tut mir Leid as well . Hopefully, the phase in to the new “What we’re made of” campaign will put a cold black stake in the heart of this horrible affront to sensibility anywhere, although the strange animated moving ingredients spelling out words and stuff isn’t promising. Plus, they’re still using the jingle.