So You Want To Be A Waiter

The best book on waiting tables that you have never read – yet

I hate…

…those little five notes at the end of the “I’m lovin’ it” McDonald’s commercials. That little musical phrase literally drives me up the wall. It sends me into an epileptic fit. I start getting homicidal urges. It makes me want to repeatedly slam my head with a lead pipe. when it pops up in a dream, I wake up drenched with sweat clutching the bedsheets and gnashing my teeth. It’s my Moby Dick.

For those of you who don’t live in North America (and a surprisingly large number of my readers don’t), you might not have experienced this horrible earworm. If McDonald’s has spared you from this horrible little hellish symphony, be very very glad. It’s one proof of the decline of the American culture (yeah yeah, I know that many of you already point to McDonald’s directly for this – let me tell you, this horribly insipid ad campaign that has been going on now for several years, is “urbanism” emasculated. If there is one positive thing that can be said for the musical tagline, it’s that it’s the very musical knife to the male member.

Oh dear, after doing a little research on this, I find out that this campaign originated in Germany, of all places. Mein Gott!  Wasn’t foisting Modern Talking and Sandra on the rest of the world enough revenge for the results of the World Wars?

So, I apologize from the American side to the world for this little jingle and the German part of me wants say Es tut mir Leid as well . Hopefully, the phase in to the new “What we’re made of” campaign will put a cold black stake in the heart of this horrible affront to sensibility anywhere, although the strange animated moving ingredients spelling out words and stuff isn’t promising. Plus, they’re still using the jingle.

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