So You Want To Be A Waiter

The best book on waiting tables that you have never read – yet

Top Ten Things a Waiter Doesn’t Want to Hear From a Manager

10.  I need to talk to you at the end of the shift.

9. Don’t worry – I’ll make up your covers around 8:00.

8. You’ve got a deuce on 24 (this is just moments after you’ve picked up the check for your last table at 9:30).

7.  The clock-in window ended 2 minutes ago. You’re late.

6. Smoking weed again, I see.

5.  I saw an interesting blog about waiting tables last night – I think we need to talk.

4. What are you bitching about – I only gave you two on-call shifts this week.

3. Yes, we need you to come in tonight (calling at 3pm for on-call).

2, No, we don’t need you to come in tonight (calling at 3pm for on-call).

The previous two things are income-dependent.

And the number one thing that you don’t want to hear from a manager:

1. Ummmm, where are you? (always heard through sleep-infested ears on a cell phone).

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