So You Want To Be A Waiter

The best book on waiting tables that you have never read – yet

I’m still here…sorta

Thus ends a very brutal three days (actually, the whole week since last Saturday has been fairly tough).

Wednesday was one of the longest doubles ever. Not only did I get home fairly late Tuesday night (around 1am), Wednesday started at 10am and ended at 1:30am Thursday with only about an 70 minutes break time in between.  While that sounds like a lot, I had to go to the bank and make a crucial deposit and my bank isn’t one of those with a branch on every corner. They have a huge building only blocks away from the restaurant, but it’s either walk the 5 or so blocks, or drive over there, have to go from my garage to theirs, get a stamp, etc. and then bring the car back and repark in my garage. Nahhhh, drove to the branch I normally go to near my house…tantalizingly near my house.

I only live about 15 minutes from my house, so, if I have more than about an hour and a half between lunch and dinner,  I’ll go home, kick off the shoes and relax. Usually I have around three hours turnaround time. However, this time there wasn’t enough time to have more than about 20 minutes to relax. So, back to work I went, and now I had to kill about 30  minutes at work before going back on to a closing shift were we had about 325 covers (this would be a busy Saturday night, but remember, it was only Wednesday).

Soooo, I didn’t get out of there until 1:30am but couldn’t really get to sleep until around 3:30. It was one of those times when your body feels beat up but you just can’t sleep.

Normally, it’s no biggie. I’m off Thursday and Friday so I get to recuperate.


My ABC (Alcoholic and Beverage Commisssion) card (some call it a TIPS card, TIPS standing for Training Intervention ProcedureS) expired sometime in the middle of April (since I lost my personal copy, I asked the powers-that-be last February when it expired since I knew it was coming up shortly). I meant to take the class a week ago Thursday but just plain forgot. So I went to the FIVE HOUR course Thursday night at 6pm, thereby chewing up most of my precious day off. Not only that, I was so beat up from the previous few days, that I slept until 9 am (unheard of for me), got up  and then decided around 1 that I’d better take a short nap to make sure I’d make it through the course. I was already feeling like a radiator at a demolition derby and my joints felt like they had been ground into so much sand, except for my right knee which looked and felt like a golf ball had found its way into the back of my leg so I ended up waking up around 4:30 feeling sleep drunk and punch drunk. Of course, the class was being held way across town in a place where you absolutely have to fight rush hour traffic (which I usually don’t have to do) so I had to leave an hour early just to be sure that I was there on time. The class lasted until 11pm – I finished the test in about 10 minutes, so I was back home around 11:30 (no rush hour traffic at that hour) and, once again I couldn’t get to sleep until around 3am, partially because I had  to take surreptitious drinks from a pint of brandy during class to dull the pain of taking a 5 hour course on alcohol awareness – ironic innit? It would have been super ironic if I had blown a .08 on my way home from getting my alcohol safe serving certification, but I think that the 5 hours took care of my liver’s elimination of one drink an hour (as we learn in the course, time is the only thing that can reduce your blood alcohol level).

So, after taking my fifth such course and receiving my fifth ABC card (and spending the requisite $55 to boot), I was ready for Friday.

I’m off Friday because I have volunteer work that I do every Friday afternoon, work that requires most of the afternoon for prep. Only this Friday, turns out that I had put off doing laundry during this rather brutal week and I had to do 2 loads of laundry on top of everything else that I needed to do.

And now it’s Saturday and it’s my Monday.

Where did my weekend go?

And why do I still feel like a dog at a butt-sniffing convention?

Anywho, it will take me a little time and energy to get back in the game. Thanks for bearing with me as I prep for tonight’s 250 covers. My thoughts are with those hardy souls running today’s Music City Marathon. Hopefully, we have no tornadoes for them to worry about.

Yes, there’s that possibility.

My ABC instructor. A real hoot.


3 responses to “I’m still here…sorta

  1. PurpleGirl April 24, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    Ouch, what a shitty end/start to your week!

  2. tipsfortips April 26, 2010 at 12:24 am

    That picture makes me rage. Why do these guys always try and make it funny? I had to sit through a 3 hour food safety class recently. It was a 10 page powerpoint that I had the slides to in front of me because I downloaded it. Literally 15 minutes worth of information, but that would have deprived the teacher from making no less than 20 poop/feces/butt jokes. I suppose this passes for health inspector humor, but for the love of god it was painful to sit through.

    • teleburst April 26, 2010 at 6:45 am

      I was grateful for the humor, which is why I chose his course in the first place. It’s a bloody FIVE HOUR COURSE. Sitting through a five hour course with the typical dry teacher trying to make about 30 minutes worth of information stretch for 5 hours is bad enough. This guy made the time fly by and he did it in a very entertaining fashion. This was my 5th class in 15 years and by far the most tolerable. I’m recommending him to all of my friends, that’s for sure, because his stuff was good and the presentation wasn’t just a random set of stupid jokes.

      If I gave the impression that I was sipping brandy surreptitiously during the course because of him, I apologize. That was absolutely not the case…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: