So You Want To Be A Waiter

The best book on waiting tables that you have never read – yet

It’s hot!

Here in the Mid-South, it’s hotter ‘n a tick on the back of a yard dog sleeping on a WalMart parking lot.

What I wouldn’t give for a nice cold glass of rosé.

“Wait, Teleburst”, I hear you exclaim, “aren’t you always talking about quality??!!?? Why do you want to drink a white zinfandel”?

Well, dear reader, I don’t. I don’t want to drink a white zin at all, I want to drink a rosé, that wonderful light summer wine from the hottest part of France, Provence, or perhaps a Tavel from the Southern Rhone, also a pretty hot area.

A good rosé is a marvelous thing. Just as a Tom Collins is a rather ordinary drink that is transformed into the greatest thing since sliced bread if you’re sitting on a hot porch watching the sun beat down on your tomatoes, a true French rosé is a tonic for the soul.

What is rosé anyway? Some call it “blush wine”, for obvious reasons. It’s the color of a fair maiden’s flushed cheeks when she gets those primordial stirrings. White zinfandel is America’s McRosé. A pale imitation (pardon the pun).

Rosé is basically red wine interrupted. The skins of red grapes are removed before full extraction. This reduces the tannins and lightens the color and body. The wine is then finished in a similar fashion to white. Stainless steel is used to avoid the influence of wood.

I’m not a big expert on rosé and I haven’t drunk a lot of them. therefore, I’m not going to give a lot of advice only to say that, of the few that I’ve enjoyed over the years, I’ve never been disappointed. They are priced so that you can experiment without a lot of downside. Start with Tavel or any of the Cotes de Provence wines. They should be drunk young.

Cop a little of the Provençal lifestyle and take the afternoon off. Throw together a nice tapenade, some summer sausages, perhaps a nice ceviche, some crusty bread, a couple of nice cheeses, a nice arugula salad dressed with a light red wine garlic vinaigrette, a squeeze of lemon juice, croutons, diced heirloom tomatoes and watermelon, find a patio with a big umbrella, gather some friends, snag some Campari and ice, and chill a bottle of  Note Bleue Cotôs De Provence Rosé 2009 which I can pick up for you locally for 10.99.  Here’s the description, courtesy of Frugal MacDougal’s:

A wine for all seasons, but especially summer in the south. A blend of 80% Cinsault and 20% Grenache, sources from Provence. Versatile and refreshing with its fruit-forward approach, yet dry enough to work with a variety of foods, from spicy dishes to simple fare. The nose exhibits wild flowers and nutmeg, and the red fruit flavors are persistent throughout the glass. Serve it with a good chill.

Doesn’t that just sound delightful? Your next step is to imagine that one of your companions is Grace Kelly, your Austin Healy 3000 is parked around the corner and you are sitting on the Côte d’Azur amid window boxes of geraniums and bushes of rosemary. You can smell the sea air and the roll of $20 in your pocket slated for a couple of days at the Casino in Monaco is burning a hole in your pocket.

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